Saturday, June 30, 2012

Some Thoughts

So, I passed out a couple days ago. From what exactly? I don't know. It has been extremely hot, but we hadn't been out very long when I passed out. Whatever the reason, I decided to get a hotel room with AC for two nights.
Sarah told me that people find it very hard to live here, some people can't even do it. This is intimidating to say the least. I only hope that passing out doesn't become a regular thing. If it does, I can't imagine being able to stay. It is hard being here because everything is so different and I do feel very alone, Sarah is amazing, but she is also leaving in two weeks or so for a wedding. Girls also aren't really supposed to be out past 9 or when it gets too dark. This can make the evenings especially boring. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not here for me, I'm here to try and help these kids. I know things will pick up when I have school everyday, and lesson plans to make in the evening. I will also start Hindi lessons soon. AND school starts tomorrow. aaugh! I can't let myself get too anxious....all I can do is try my best. Just thinking about this next year makes me want to curl up in a little ball and give up. But! one day at a time. I know I will regret giving up more than fighting to stay. I miss my people back in America. Anyway, I just feel a little trapped in this hotel room at the moment and thought I would share my slightly depressing thoughts. peace.


5 comments:

  1. Oh Meg! You're right, you would regret giving up! What you are going through is normal and you just need to give yourself more time and grace. Nick and I felt the same way after just one week in Rome! Hang in there! You'll find your footing and new groove and it will all be worth it!

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  2. Just befriend a monkey. (Then bring it to me) I love you meggara. you are doing great! :)

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  4. When school starts tomorrow and you start to get to know the kids, I'm sure things will look much better. I am so proud of you, no matter how long you are there! (sorry about the previous delete..I hit a wrong button)

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  5. You have such a positive attitude. The blues will pass, I'm sure. Hopefully two nights with A/C will help and you won't be passing out anymore though!

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